Subject: Self introduction
Dear Professor,
My name is Hou Yang and I am writing this to
you to let you know more about me. I was graduated from Temasek Polytechnic this
year with a diploma in Aerospace Electronics. My hobby is to watch Japanese anime
and learn about their culture. Although I never been to Japan, I love the
culture and environment of the country. Moreover, one of my Cross Disciplinary
Subject (CDS) in polytechnic is Japanese Language.
Since I am a foreigner, I do not have to
serve national service, thus I considered to further my studies. During the open
house, I was attracted by the IWSP which offers by SIT, because I felt that the
polytechnic internship was really useful and allow me to apply the knowledge that
I learnt from my modules into real life application. Not only that, experience
also can be gained from the guiding of my supervisor and colleges. Therefore, I
believe the IWSP will enhance the academic studies by putting them into workplace.
My weakness in communication is that
English was my weakest subject since primary school. Since my first language is
Chinese and my family also communicates in Chinese, these make me harder to
pronounce English. Also, I’m not so confident in speaking in English. The
Strength I have in communication is that I am willing
to interact with people.
My goal for this Effective Communication
module is to improve my communication and writing skills, as well as building
up confidence. I found that is it very important to communicate and write well
especially during work, as I often need to discuss with my supervisor and colleague
and send emails to customers and suppliers. I believe this skill will be useful
in life.
I hope this module will help me to enhance my
skills in communication and writing.
Best regards,
Hou Yang
Hi Hou Yang!
ReplyDeleteJust need to focus a little more on your tenses as well as grammar and you're good to go! Overtime with more practice and your grammar will definitely improve.
Hi Jarod
DeleteThanks for your advise!
Great content on the introduction. It is a well written introduction email if you just brush up your grammar slightly.
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Hi JiaHao,
DeleteThanks for your comment. I will look into my grammer errors.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Hou Yang,
ReplyDeleteThanks for this detailed letter. You've addressed all the elements required in the assignment. It's interesting for us to learn that you are actually a foreigner in Singapore. Does that mean you don't even have PR?
I appreciate your effort, but this draft needs some revision in terms of language use. Please consider these points:
1) verb issues
-- I was graduated... >>> (wrong form)
-- Although I never been to Japan... >>> (wrong form)
-- one of my Cross Disciplinary Subject (CDS) in polytechnic is...
-- the IWSP which offers (wrong form)
-- the polytechnic internship was really useful and allow me to apply (verb tense inconsistency)
2) phrasing
-- experience also can be gained from the guiding of my supervisor and colleges. >>> (word use/meaning)
3) sentence structure
-- Since I am a foreigner, I do not have to serve national service, thus I considered to further my studies. >>> (run on sentence)
-- I believe the IWSP will enhance the academic studies by putting them into workplace. >>> (them?)
-- ...these make me harder to pronounce English. >>> ...these make it harder for me to pronounce English.
-- I found that is it very important.... >>> (word order)
You've mentioned that the use of English is not common in your family. I'd suggest that you try to use it more often and that you even watch films and TV in English when possible. Another thing you can do is try to step out of your comfort zone even in class and participate more.
I loook forward to your next draft and to working with you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
p.s. Could you change the language of your blog into English?
Dear Professor Brad,
DeleteThank you for your reply. I really appreciate it.
Yes, I do not have a PR.
I watch files and movies in English quite often since I came to Singapore. I will take your advise and try to communicate with my course mates in English more often.
Thanks and best regards,
Hou Yang
Hi Hou Yang! Thank you for sharing such an insightful introduction.
ReplyDeleteThere are some pointers which i felt you could improve on :
- grammar
- sentence structuring
your organisation skills are good and content is interesting.
I will start conversing with you in English to boost your confidence level.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading!
Cheers
Bernadine
Hi Bernadine,
DeleteThank you for taking time to read my letter.
I will look into the area that I am not so good at and I will communicate in English more often.
Thanks and regards,
Hou Yang
Hi HouYang,
ReplyDeleteOverall the content is very detailed, and it seems like we have the same goals for this module. Let us work towards our goals.
Cheers,
Ian
Hi Ian,
DeleteThank you for your comment.
Let's work hard to achieve our goals together!
Cheers,
Hou Yang